Divine Dilemma

I said "Let there be Light", and wallah!!! there it was. The time I created human beings (yes it was me) from scratch I never expected them to exist so long. In fact they have performed better than those dinosaurs I sent. I expected them to be like a spark of my prodigious skill at creation, to glow momentarily and die out. Yet they still exist and that too in the billions. I guess I shouldn't have given them a couple of appendages that help them multiply. To be honest, I never thought they would figure out the use of those, but alas, even God was proved wrong. To follow it up, humans developed that primitive thing I gave them, the brain, and has been utilising it for almost anything, from sex to.....ummm....sex. Well there are many other things I fail to recall. Age is catching up it seems. After I brought myself to accept the fact that there was no way I could get rid of these humans, I decided to lay back on the cumulonimbus couch I have and watch the show, occasionally shaking up things a bit, with an El Nino or a Tsunami or even the HIV.
I still kind of feel that the HIV was a masterstroke. Humans cannot stay without sex. So I conjured up a disease that is spread with sex and would thus obliterate them. On the contrary, if they decided not to indulge in sex (it is next to impossible, I know), they would die out anyway. But that bloody brain of theirs could'nt let me be happy. On goes the condom and wallah!!! supersafe supersex. To add to this all the bullshit technology of external fertilisation in a petridish really pissed me off. I tried other things like sabotaging erections but pop goes in a viagra and.....well u know the rest. In all my life (existence is a better word though cos i am not sure if i am alive), I have never come across a creature that defies its creator. I guess one of those humans realised this feeling and wrote that Frankenstein thingy. A few others got so pissed with me that they started ignoring my existence. I really don't understand how you can explain all that I have done with shitty science. I mean, the weather, the crops, the mosquitoes, they are all there cos i made them. Heck the H1N1 is there cos it is my latest endeavour at eradicating the human race. I don't know what to say. I am GOD and for thousands of years I have tried and failed to get this puny species to buzz off. Oh fuck! I think I should look for a new job. Lucifer may give me some good advice. So, humans, rejoice in knowing that you are ur own god, whatever goes right, congratulate yourself, and if anything goes wrong, don't u dare blame me. Fuck!! Iv even started emulating that sms language of theirs. Lucifer, heeeeeelllllp!